Excerpt from Alex Ferguson's Book or Lord of the Rings Quote?

The Dark Lord Ferg takes on the Dark Lord Voldemort. - Michael Regan

Is there even a difference? There may very well not be.

We don't often turn our gaze to the world of publishing, but it's been impossible to avoid the media fracas surrounding the publication of Alex Ferguson's autobiography, My Autobiography. (Really. That's the title.) Having managed Manchester United for approximately the last nine decades, Fergie has story upon story to tell about past players, fellow managers, and everyone in between. Few emerge unscathed, even those he purports to be fond of.

Naturally, he had lots to say on the subject of his rivals from down the M62, but rather than wring our hands over the Dark Lord's jaundiced point of view, we bring you a Liverpool Offside trivia game instead.

Excerpt from SAF's Book or
Paraphrased* Saruman Quote from
Lord of the Rings? * We couldn't very well leave in references to Orcs or halflings

You be the judge.

1) "Against the power of Manchester United there can be no victory."

2) "What I noticed about him that day when I was arguing with him was that his eyes started to narrow, almost to wee black beads."

3) "I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of pain."

4) " Hunt them down. Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste man-flesh."

5) "Do you know how Manchester United first came into being? They were players once, taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life. Now... perfected. My fighting Mancs. Whom do you serve?"

6) "The name of the manager is irrelevant. You cannot have a player taking over a dressing room. That was the death knell for him."

7) "We have only to remove those who oppose us."

8) "Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Old Trafford sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh."

9) "You did not seriously think that a Jonjo Shelvey could contend with the will of Alex Ferguson. There are none that can."

10) "Save your pity and your mercy; I have no use for it!"

Answers:

1) Saruman. 2) SAF on Roy Keane. 3) Saruman. 4) SAF's tactical advice to Paul Scholes. Kidding. It's Saruman again. 5) Saruman. 6) SAF on David Beckham. 7) Saruman. 8) Saruman. 9) Still Saruman. 10) Yep. Saruman.

More from The Liverpool Offside:

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