Because sometimes, when things end up going as painfully as they did against West Brom, there's more fun to be had watching the people in the cheap seats than there is watching what's actually going on on the pitch. And this is how you witnessed the glorious unfolding of yesterday's Hodgpocalypse...
Liverpool will show Hodgson how the game is meant to be played today.
Woo! Football's back! And the first two minutes were awesome and we're gonna smash 'em and...
What's that, 3 Carrahoofs in 5 minutes? His stats are staggering.
Well, at least the first two or three minutes were enjoyably awesome. So it could get better again. Except I think we're down to zero helthy fullbacks now. But at least we still have...
And Daniel Agger's off injured. Now I will be strangling myself for reasons other than to get high.
Oh. Or not. So Jamie Carragher's the only person who can play fullback for Liverpool without being injured? Fiddlesticks. At least I can snicker to myself about unintended auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes...
Oh dear. The words "pear" and "shaped' spring to mind.
The only person who can play fullback for Liverpool without being injured must have just hoofed it again...
Where's our midfield today? Are the Baggie's pies so good they've porked out on them?
At least there's always laughter to help get through the pain. And there's also alcohol. Mostly alcohol...
I think West Brom could stab Carroll in the leg with a
fondue fork and the ref would give Andy a stern warning about it.
***A brief intermission while I was off getting chocolate fondue and pear slices followed, and also Liverpool was scoring to make everybody momentarily happy and hopeful and all that shit that just can't last when Roy Hodgson is around.***
Nice work by the Greek to gift West Brom a penalty.
This back line needs to be exploded.
1-1. Que the death of happy and hopefull and all that shit, then. But how 'bout that defense corps? Sir Hoffsalot, Aurelio the Lame, Agger the Also Lame, Kyrgiakos the Penalty Against Per Match, and Skrtel the... whatever the hell has happened to him since 2009...
When's our asthmatic Messi coming on to save us?
Soon, I'm sure. At least he'll just be generally useless and ensure a draw. It's not like he'll somehow conspire to help Hodgson take all three points or something...
On a positive note, Dani Pacheco has had a very good game today.
Salt, wound, etcetera...
We have less ball control today than Jonjo Shelvey.
Zing! Hey, this actually is more fun than the match...
Thank Joe Cole for giving the ball away with his first touch. I feel ill.
2-1. With he and Kyrgiakos joining forces to give West Brom their second. I'd say my hate might be approaching irrational levels, except I'm not sure how irrational my hate is in the circumstances...
He's having a competition with Kyrgiakos over who should be shot into the sun first.
Yeah, I'm quoting myself. What of it? But at least Cole earned the 90k Hodgson and Purslow signed him up on this week...
Yes, that. Also:
Well, that's certainly shut us up.